New Suicide Squad #8 “Defective”
Written by Sean Ryan
Art by Rob Hunter & Scott Hanna

Dear God, this book is awful! I know Sean has been slaughtering Worlds’ Finest in his reviews, but I’m willing to bet that this book gives it a run for its money. Sean Ryan has officially been added to my NOcenti list! Like Nocenti, I don’t understand how he got this job, and I seriously don’t know how he’s kept it. I’ve never tweeted Sean Ryan or Brian Cunningham (New Suicide Squad’s editor) my reviews, but I’m tempted to tweet them my review for every issue of this arc so that they’ll hopefully get their act together. Actually, I’m just going to write a spec script for this title and send it to Cunningham on Sunday night. I’m completely convinced that I can write something better than this crap! Yes, it is that bad.

Anyway, let’s get to the actual review. The squad is still in China after blowing up a facility that is creating metahuman clones. As the team attempts to flee the country, they’re stopped by a clone that survived the explosion, and when his cloned abilities don’t fail him, he’s a powerhouse! Naturally, this should pose a solid threat to the squad, but it never really feels like he does. To add to the suspense, the Chinese military has closed in on the fray, targeting both the metahuman and the squad. While this might sound interesting and exciting in theory, the actual execution prevents it from being so. Why? Well, let’s just skip the tragedy that is the art, and focus on the numerous problems with the narrative.

The Characters. There are no characters here. What you get with Ryan’s writing are two dimensional characters with no depth, and no personality. It’s a complete and utter shame! This is a high profile roster of characters, and if readers are going to lose that “anything can happen” feeling of suspense since there are no d-listers, then they should at least be able to enjoy the characters. But they can’t! I should be excited to read Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Black Manta, Captain Boomerang, Reverse Flash, and so on… and if I actually were reading those characters, then I probably would be excited! But those characters are nowhere to be found here. I could essentially insert any character into these roles, and I wouldn’t really need to change the dialogue. It’s like the script was written as Prisoner 1, Prisoner 2, Prisoner 3, and so on, only have DC to slap their trademark to it. Do you know what this is called? BAD WRITING!

The Plot. As far as the plot is concerned, this book should write itself! It sets itself up for crying out loud! The government is using prisoners to carry out missions that they don’t want their name tied to. All the writer needs to do is actually craft the mission. Now, Sean Ryan manages this… but he does so at a very basic level of thinking that comes across as a pathetic attempt. Ultimately, I don’t care about what’s happening, because there is no relevance to what is happening, and Ryan never fully answers the “Why.” By that, I mean that the narrative should detail why the team is doing whatever it is they’re doing. Currently the team is in China to take out a metahuman clone factory. That’s great, but why do we need the Suicide Squad to do this? Why can’t the government handle this on their own? Why is it that they need to actually blow up the facility? Why did the squad need to go to Russia before this? They never actually finished that mission, so clearly it wasn’t that important… This is just the tip of the iceberg of my questions! Let’s not start analyzing why the characters act in certain ways, because if I do that, then we’ll be here all week!

Cause and Effect. If you ask Ryan what cause and effect is, he will probably stare at you blankly… That’s mean. I know… I don’t want to intentionally be mean to him, I’m just irritated with the quality of this book. Logic just seems to be missing from his writing. For instance: The Chinese military targets Star Guy (that’s what I’m calling the meta-clone) and the squad, and the moment missiles are fired at Star Guy, the military completely forgets about the squad – whom the squad is entrenched with – allowing the squad to get away without a SINGLE PERSON SEEING THEM! Really? There’s fighter jets, tanks, foot soldiers, etc… and nobody saw the squad conveniently disappear within a matter of seconds in a red van? The same van that conveniently disappeared while the squad was trying to hide from Star Guy in the previous issue. Are you catching my use of the word “convenient?” I could seriously go on and on with examples of where there either isn’t a cause and effect to an action in this book, or it’s just not a logical cause and effect so that Ryan can conveniently tell his “story.” I mean let’s face it, the U.S. has essentially sent a team of people into two countries, had said team blow stuff up, causing the team to get discovered, and there is NO BACKLASH from either country?!?! I’m not the only one that has an issue with this right? Right?

Pretty much all this issue contains is: Star Guy and the squad “fighting” the Chinese military. The squad “escaping” China. Waller eating fast food. Deadshot shooting again, but poorly – which they try to make out as a bad thing, but considering he had essentially lost nearly all motor functions after being tortured, it isn’t really a bad thing, just progression. Reverse Flash receives medical treatment. Manta wants out. Manta insults Waller. Sage is doing something shady, but who cares? The Senate loves the squad because they’re an effing mess and botch every mission (yeah, that’s realistic). And Waller’s chubby assistant goes home to her husband… WTF is happening here?!?

Nearly everything presented by Ryan is a joke! I can’t take him or his work seriously. And I know I haven’t discussed the art yet, but I can’t even be thankful that we’re getting a better artist when this book comes back in June, because it won’t matter. Then on top of it, Ryan is going to cover an issue as sensitive as Isis… This book either needs to be cancelled (again), or it needs a creative change…

 

The Art: Ah, the art. It’s as terrible as always! Don’t believe me? Here’s the opening panel!

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Yep. And here’s the opening page!

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Want to see more badness? Just look below in the spoiler tag. Want to read my opinion on Hunter’s art? Go check out my previous reviews! I can only explain why something is bad so many times before I want to throw my laptop out the window!

Spoiler

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The Good: Hahahahahaha! You’re funny!

The Bad: New Suicide Squad.

Recommended if:

  • You like bad writing and bad art… Actually, don’t… Just don’t.

Overall: New Suicide Squad continues to drop in quality. What started off as a promising book, quickly went south in the art department, and the writing and storytelling have since followed suite. I can easily say that I find nothing redeeming in this book, and if I weren’t reviewing this title, then I definitely would not be picking it up. I cringe at the fact that I pay to read it each month. And if I didn’t read comics digitally, then I would take great pleasure in throwing this book in the trash after writing my review each month because that’s what it is… garbage.

 

SCORE: 1/10